DEAR PETE,

Pete. Pat. I hope this note finds you well and enjoying winter in Long Beach. My Patriots continue to reign supreme, while all New York teams are awful so that’s good right? I think I still owe you a steak, although it was great fun the morning that I had my drum class call you while I was teaching in order to congratulate your Super Bowl victory a few years ago. I sometimes tell them if you and I were both in the same school, they could have Mr. Moeschen for music AND Mr. Moeschen for gym class. Throw John in there and we have Mr. Moeschen for science too…might as well add Diane for Ms. Moeschen for gym also. Perhaps Audrey runs the office? Let’s just call it school of Moeschen if I can get Sheila in there somehow….English? Theater? This is a brilliant plan Pete. Bourne: What if I can’t find her? It’s easy….she’s standing right next to you…

I’m writing to let you know that since recently becoming a dad, life and its meaning have become much more clear. When Tim was born this past summer, I now understand what you told me about feeling love for another human in a way that doesn’t seem possible. I can’t wait for him to be at the lake with all of us, learn to fish and hear the tales of camp. At some point, as we are all aging, Vanessa and possibly Mike, would like to record you telling some of the stories and walk around camp with a camera. I want Tim to understand and remember camp and our family legacy after all of us are gone. Not to sound depressing, but having a son has also had me thinking about my own mortality and a life-well lived. Over many years, sitting at the lake, or on a porch or the outstanding weekend that you took me to a Giants game, I have respected your kindness and watched how you have shared it with everyone. It is not lost on me, even when we have the camp picnics….although we have got to do something about your shirts. Terrible man, terrible.

I am now a dad, and Vanessa and I have talked about having at least one more, so we will see what happens. I’m still feeling good, and my health is pretty stable. The school year is going well, and the band kids are sounding good. I’m also still doing private lessons at the house which so far does not seem to be disturbing nap time. I’m rambling and no one in this family has been great about communication from time to time, so I will say this: having my own kid has made me excited, nervous and mortal. I am terrified that I will somehow let everyone down even though I know that I won’t. Since dad is gone, I look to you for the Moeschen way (for lack of a better term) and I hope that you won’t mind me calling you every now and then for advice, guidance, and just to shoot the shit like we have always done. I admire your strength in your willingness to share your stories of your brightest and darkest days with me and am proud to help carry on the Moeschen name with Tim. I wish dad was here to see him but we can only hope that he’s watching over all of us and smiling. Good days ahead. Call me when you get this and we can talk more and also see what we need to do at camp this spring. Not to close on a tacky note, but please know that I love and respect you for being a great person and Uncle to me. Again, having a child has brought me to realize that it’s important to let people know how you feel while we are all still here.

Love,

Pat

I wrote the letter above to my father’s only brother in the winter of 2014-15 a few months after my oldest son was born. Last week, my uncle Peter Moeschen passed peacefully in his sleep at age 87. I am grateful to have had him in my life, and now he is with my father somewhere watching over us. Tell people how you feel about them while they are still on the Earth. It matters.

Stay safe, stay awesome and stay tuned.