When we last saw our hero, he was pulling me out of the front seat of a taxi in Chicago.
Well, not literally….that actually happened more than two decades ago, but the real news today is that Bob himself slid into my DMs (as the kids say) to set a few things straight and to let me know that I “must be pretty hard up for material with this blog if I am writing about him.”
Au contraire, mon frère.
I have, do, and always will happily write about people, places and events that have meaning in my life. Ranging from the sublime and ridiculous (Montreal bathroom stall) to the seriousness of a heart attack (Boston helicopter ride) to the wonder of it all (Foxwoods….just kidding, some of you will get that joke).
So, Bob-O, instead of whining like 47 (It’s called The Kennedy Center), why don’t you get in line like everyone else (no video, just like Glitch from Kentucky) and say ‘thank you for sharing a fun memory.’
OK, enough with the pleasantries. BOB (that’s Mr. Bob to you), also told me that the Rolo story as I told it, was not accurate. Well, since I am a responsible bloggist and everything, I must now set the record straight. To be honest, I wouldn’t really care except that what Bob told me is even more funny that what I thought happened so now I must share. Remember, the GREAT ROLO INCIDENT took place when I was not present.
What really went down is this:
As Bob moved through the factory floor of the Rolo manufacturing center, he was unaware of the candy making steps. To fully understand why this is important, you are about to learn how Rolo’s are made. I contacted the company and told them the magic password (BOB ROLO)….2 words. Anyway, because I am persuasive, I now have a guy (friend) at the company yammering on the phone with me about the ‘process’. I told him that I would keep the company secrets in a secure location. That secure location is below. Ladies and gentlemen and Bob…..here is how the candy is made. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS AT HOME:
My guy told me that it’s called ROTARY SHELL MOLDING
The Commercial Manufacturing Process
- Shell Formation: A continuous belt moves polycarbonate molds under nozzles that deposit tempered milk chocolate into each cavity.
- Centrifugal Force: The molds move to a spinning carousel where centrifugal force pushes the liquid chocolate outward and upward against the sides.
- Draining: The molds invert slightly and vibrate to shake out extra chocolate, leaving a precise, hollow shell.
- Cooling: The open chocolate shells pass through a specialized cooling tunnel to harden the outer layer and create a glossy snap.
- Filling: Liquid caramel is piped directly into the hardened chocolate cups.
- Capping: A final layer of liquid chocolate is deposited over the top to seal the caramel inside before a final cooling and packaging stage.
Did you get that? If you have 3 hours, you can also see the process in this top secret video that is located on the dark web. I have taken the liberty of cracking that and putting it HERE. Start at the 20 minute mark to avoid the Far East Governments stealing this technology. Please note: BOB does not appear in this video but his gloved fingers can be seen ‘plucking candy’ at 21:12ish. He has assumed control.
In my earlier writing, I simply stated that Bob plucked a Rolo off the conveyer belt and tasted the molten hot caramel……perhaps during the filling and capping stage. Here is where I made several errata’s.
First off, Bob saw the delicious Rolos rolling (ha!) and thought to himself: those look yummy. If one is good, I’ll bet 2 is better! He then grabbed 2 and popped them into his salivating gullet.
See, this is where I had it wrong. The Rolo was not hot at all. I have learned that the caramel itself begins as a thin, gluey paste. It needs to cure for an hour or so until it transforms into the texture, consistency and gooey treat that we all know and love. When Bob popped the two Rolos into his face, the caramel had not yet lived long enough to pass through this important curing stage of baking. Result? Bob’s mouth became glued shut. Try as he did, he could no longer open his jaws.
He also could not chew so well. Poor Bob. He moved through the tour wondering what had happened while trying to nod and grin as the important discussions continued. After several minutes, he was able to swallow the pasty treat.
If you try to make caramel at home, be sure NOT to sample your wares until the end. I have since also learned that Bob was the kid who touched things behind the ropes at the museum as a kid, and he was the guy who once tried to put his face in a fan because “it was only plastic.”
No wonder this guy once pulled me from a taxi and wrecked the dashboard. At least the cab wasn’t moving…..much.
I hope you have enjoyed the laugh and these true stories about my special friend. He wants to have lunch with me soon. I’ll make sure his dessert contains caramel.
Stay safe, stay awesome, and stay tuned.
Moeschen! 