Recently the movie Back to the Future turned forty years old. Yikes. I saw it in the theater as a kid living in 1985. Fun fact: When Marty goes back in time by accident, he lands on November 5, 1955….the day that the fictional Dr. Brown invented the flux capacitor, which is what makes time travel possible! November 5 is my birthday….which was a pretty cool movie moment for me as a kid.
Anyway, the original cut of the film was recently re-released to the theaters, so Vanessa and I took the kids to see it on the big screen. Still great, still fun, still a wonderful story.
When they go from 1985-1955 there are all kinds of funny lines such as “Who the hell is John F. Kennedy?” and “I can’t give you a Pepsi free….you’ve got to pay for it.”
Of course in 2025, few of us will remember that Pepsi-Free was a product boasting that Pepsi didn’t add extra sugar.
That got me thinking about a few common phrases from right now that would be baffling to anyone alive in 1985. How would that look? Well, maybe something like…
- “Text me when you get home.”
- 1985: Um, that’s a noun. You want me to write something down for you at your house? Like dictation?
- “I left my phone in the Uber.”
- 1985: How did you get it off the wall? In the U-haul? Are you moving?
- “Let’s take a selfie.”
- 1985: Where are we taking him? Selfie is your dog right?
- “Tag me in that photo.”
- 1985: We can play tag, but I don’t have my Kodak, so no pictures. You’re it!!!
- “Did you see my TikTok?”
- 1985: Hey, I think dad is losing it. He named his watch. Wanna tell him that it’s next to the radio? By his glasses..
- “I’m having a party. There will be streamers there.”
- 1985: Cool. I’m happy to pick up some more if you need them. What colors do you want?
- “She’s going viral.”
- 1985: Thanks for the warning. I was going to try to kiss her, but I don’t want some virus that will make me sick.
- “The Wi-Fi is down.”
- 1985: You mean the Hi-Fi? Is it plugged in? Check the EQ and make sure there is nothing stuck in the tape deck. Auto dubbing. Cool.
- “He totally ghosted her.”
- 1985: Poltergeist? Yeah, that was scary when the ghost came out of the TV at her.
- “Google it.”
- 1985: A googol is approximately equal to
. I am a math nerd!
- 1985: A googol is approximately equal to
- “Let’s Zoom later.”
- 1985: Yeah, in your Chevy Chevette? I don’t think so. The only zooming you will do in that shitbox is in your dreams. Keep saving up for that IROC dude.
- “Venmo me for lunch.”
- 1985: I have no idea what the hell you just said. Is this some sort of sex request or is Venmo an actual restaurant? If it is, then we need to fix your grammar. Maybe say you would like to go to Venmo with me to have lunch. What do they serve? Do they have Mr. Pibb? Slice? Sunkist?
Stay tuned for things we say in 2050 that make no sense in 2025. I can a few generations away:
Wait, you mean people had to plug stuff in to charge it? That’s awful.
How did anyone even live having to figure out what paper money was?
What was it like before people lived on the moon?
Did they build Disney World before Florida was under water?
Ya know….questions like that. Stay safe, stay awesome, and stay tuned.
Cheeseburgers this year: 31
Patrick moeschen 