ACCEPTANCE

Welcome back loyal reader. I took a few weeks off from writing because I felt like it. There you go.

I’m back now, and I want to talk with you today about acceptance. Throughout my adult life, people have labeled me as a hero, role model, inspiration and other things that are to be taken as compliments, and I do take the kind words that way, but far fewer people have ever pulled back that layer to ask me what it actually feels like to be me. When I say that, I am talking about what it feels like to know that my body is very slowing betraying me like an old car that once was in top shape, but is now limping along with a rusted frame, spent fuel pump, a crappy transmission, bad belts, a non-working AC, and a host of other issues that my father in law could describe in full car detail (That’s for you Gary).

So what does it feel like to know that your mind is pretty sound (hold your jokes) but your body is simply dying slowly? In a word: shitty.

The thing I hear most often, after the inspiration comments, are people telling me things like: I don’t think I could do this…..How are you not angry all of the time? Do you ever wonder why this happened to you? and my personal (not) favorite: God gives us only what we can handle (See also, anyone currently living in a war zone). What a crock of shit I say. So, since I am being snarky and running my stream of consciousness, let me address these one at a time for you.

1. “I don’t think I could handle being in a wheelchair all of the time.”
   • First, a clarification: I am NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR ALL OF THE TIME. I don’t go to the bathroom, shower, sleep, or relax on my couch in the wheelchair. That would be impossible. Second….yes you could handle it just fine. With my body as it is right now, the only other option is sitting still all day. No, thank you. The chair IS my independence. You get used to having it around……just like your old slippers.
2. “Do you ever wonder why this happened to you?”
   • Nope. I have had passing moments of the thought on and off all my life. I’ve given it to the randomness of the universe. It takes a lot of energy to attempt to rationalize things that simply “are.” Shit happens. Put that on a bumper sticker…..or a shirt….
3. “God only gives us what we can handle.”
   • I’ve got room to handle millions of dollars, several trips around the globe, possibly a few to the moon, a world tour with a band with me sitting at the drum kit, a villa in Italy, more laughs and constant relationship building with people in my life who are important to me. If my wife is reading this, I am also ready to handle more Amazon deliveries. OK, not that last one. Side note: You know why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it. OK, not that one either. God, if you are reading this, I can handle and ACCEPT all that you throw. When you decide that I can’t, then I’ll come see you and we can have a little chat. I have questions.

This brings me to the title of today’s writing and the reason why I chose it. Sometime ago, I learned to wrap EVERYTHING into a box, close it and tie a ribbon around the top. Inside the box lies “ACCEPTANCE.”

I have figured out that, for me, and my circumstances as an adult, I accept things that happen. Perhaps not immediately, but I always get to that state of mind. This is not to say that I throw my hands up and remain static about each day I live….in fact it is quite the opposite. What I have realized is that my life is a river. I am the river. It is not possible to crawl up on the banks and take a break, while looking at myself as stagnant or raging water. Life is always flowing, sometimes fast and out of control, and sometimes slowly without rapids….but the water is always moving. Sometimes there are waterfalls….big and small, and sometimes I must navigate around rocks, but the river flows on. I Accept that. It is happening to all of us. You can’t get out of the water until it reaches the sea, which is the universe, and at which point, you cease to be and are again a mix of everyone and everything that you ever knew.

Accept your river. It’s yours. Go with the flow.

Stay awesome, stay safe, and stay afloat.