Recently my in-laws came to the lake to visit. My wife and I enjoy having the families together from time to time so everyone can socialize, spend time with the grandkids, and ingest copious amounts of food. When Italians and Polish cultures convene, there is food. Oh my there is food.
Anyone who has in-laws will also tell you that there is always an interesting vibe hanging around the gathering in the form of people who likely (but not always) have been parents. This can and will sometimes lead to discussions about certain things that may cause unspoken tension around certain topics such as parenting, religion, and politics… How is that for being gentle in case my relatives are reading this? The words I just typed are EXACTLY how I got through college. Twice. When needed, I can sling it. You dig?
Well, I had an idea during the last family gathering. Some of you are going to steal this. That’s ok. I always open source my ideas so you can make them better. This is also likely to ramp up some unspoken feelings in your cockles or sub-cockles mentioned above. Who doesn’t love family time right? I told Vanessa that I am inventing the “In-Law Drinking Game.”
This is fun for the whole family. Here are the rules:
- If you are playing, you must have a drink in a glass or cup that looks the same as the other players.
- Players must not announce that they are playing. It must be shared by everyone looking around to see who has matching cups.
- New players may join at anytime, but if you join late, you must CATCH UP by sharing a recent photo on your phone (that no one cares about) with the person you are currently speaking with. After sharing the photo AND receiving a verbal comment, you must drink twice. Catch up soldier.
- YOU must drink when you hear a “familiar phrase.” If the phrase is announced aloud to everyone it is a SOCIAL (everyone playing must drink)
- A “familiar phrase” is anything that an in-law speaks that has been said at least 250 times at an earlier gathering. For clarification and examples, I will list some after you have read the rules.
- The game never ends, or can end when you are out of alcohol, pass out, or when you and a family member come to blows** or team up on others. This is played like Cards Against Humanity, except IRL. (In Real Life….as the youngsters say)
- Enjoy and I recommend only hard drinks or mixers. No beer or wine unless your family can’t hang. If anyone in your family is a recovering alcoholic, you may play but you have to use fruit juice. I’m an asshole, but NOT THAT MUCH of an asshole.
Since many readers know my family, the “familiar phrases” listed here are presented to you without names. Remember, when playing with your family, be sure to work these out ahead of time and DO NOT SHARE with the in-laws. The in-laws can never play the “IN-LAW DRINKING GAME.” The first rule of fight club is…..right. You get it.
“FAMILIAR PHRASES BENTLEY/MOESCHEN DRINKING GAME.”
“This was a perfect day!”
“I’m glad that I don’t have A LOT of kids!”
“It’s going pretty good, pretty good. Just busy, busy.”
“Wait, who is coming over later?”
“Everybody needs to eat while it’s hot.”
“It always tastes better when someone else is cooking!”
“I had this car one time…”
“Well, you KIDS don’t know everything….”
“These grandkids are so smart. They were born smart. We were born dumb.”
“Is anyone in the bathroom?”
“I take care of the animals first. They can’t speak for themselves.”
Bonus: Someone tells the same story more than once to a different person at the same party. If this happens, you must empty your cup if you are the second (or third etc.) person to hear the story. Speaking of cups, when you are empty, you must top off everyone else’s cup after refilling yours. This accomplishes two feats:
- The game never ends
- Everyone gets blitzed and the party becomes more tolerable
In closing. This whole blog is a joke. I love my family and my in-laws and it is always great to get together. If you know who these people are, you can figure out who says what. On the other hand, I’m going to play this game the next time everyone is in one place. I have heart and muscle issues, but not liver issues, so I need to balance things out over here.
Happy Labor Day. What’s that you say? A Labor Day barbecue with your in-laws? Please see above.
Stay safe, stay awesome, and keep doing your own thing. Everyone is doing their own thing.
**The game also ends immediately if anyone smashes a glass window and shouts “Here’s your f-ing vodka!”
Moeschen! 