Well THAT title sure sounds deep right? Hold on, hold on, it’s July and the sun is shining, birds are singing and I am writing this while sitting on the porch of my lake house in northwestern New Hampshire. It’s quite different than my writings of six months ago while laying around watching the NFL playoffs, and having people wait on me hand and foot. Oh, I was also close to death for awhile, but you’ll have to visit the archives for that or become a paid subscriber (don’t worry….I’m not going to charge people that I already know to read my words…..that’s reserved for strangers at the book signing) What? Where was I? Who can hear my voice? Gerry? Brenda? Jim? Grandma is that you? I can’t see that far….(Name that movie)
Alright, get a hold of myself. Wait, what tense is that? I always was never good at grammar. Always never quite right. Someone who WAS good at grammar and seemed to put all the words in the right order was one of my favorite comedians of all time: George Carlin.
George once did a great bit about license plates and the “mottos” that our states put on them. Although it’s an old bit and some of the slogans on license plates have changed, it’s still great. You can watch it here (language warning). About one minute into George’s rant he mentions New Hampshire and our license plates that read “Live Free or Die.” He then follows it up with “Well, I am certainly not moving there. I am not living in any state that mentions death right on the license plate!” Continuing, Carlin tells us that Idaho’s license plate reads: “Famous Potatoes…..hmmm. I believe those are two extremes of thought and somewhere between live free or die and famous potatoes, the truth lies……Probably a little closer to……famous potatoes.”
I’ve always loved that bit and just this morning while working, I found my own Carlin moment.
I met with a woman today who spent years teaching special education and now has a very cool job with many hats, one of them being a liaison between chronically ill children that are hospitalized and schools that are working out details to be included in IEPs. For those of you out of the know, IEP stands for Individualized Education Program and is mandated by federal law allowing children with learning disabilities to obtain free services in schools to assist them where needed. The IEP is developed by the parents, school, and specialists that may be needed such as a speech expert, a behavior expert, or a physical therapist. The concept of the IEP was (and is) a game changer for anyone who requires assistance to learn and achieve success in school. The woman that I was speaking with has a few decades under her belt in writing and implementing IEPs and in my almost 30 years of teaching, I have given input on a few myself, but have read and followed more than 500 in my classroom. That number is likely low but you have an idea that these plans are pretty common and let the teachers know how we can best support and set the kids up for success. Every IEP is different but many ask for extra time for the student to take tests (if we still give those….but that’s a whole other blog) or things like colored folders for organization, being allowed to type instead of write, common math facts given in a chart to enhance memory and things like that. Some students have an IEP when they are young only, while some have an IEP every year until they graduate. It varies. Do you follow? Are you thinking that you would have benefited from one of these plans growing up? OK….so…..
Now that you have a general background, I asked this woman what the strangest thing she had ever seen in writing on an IEP was. She laughed. I laughed. We have both seen some outlandish “requirements” on these documents over the years, and remember….they have to legally be followed in public schools.
She went first: “Well, there are so many, but the ones that frustrate me the most are the ones that are in there but don’t REALLY have to do with the learning process.” I nodded in agreement while she added “I saw one for an elementary student that said the child should be praised frequently.” Interesting. How often is frequently? What kind of praise? Verbal? Given a Jolly Rancher or a cupcake? (I hear you laughing Gerry) Shouldn’t we teachers be praising all of the kids at times? How will this child react if they are not praised? Whew….that’s a lot.
I went second: “I had a whopper a bunch of years ago on a 7th grade student mid-year that had just moved into town. His said that if there was ever a downpour or thunder during the school day, he exhibited a sense of impending doom (those were the exact words) and he should be sent to guidance immediately.” Well, I wasn’t even sure how to unpack that one but believe me when I tell you that this poor young man had more going on in his cerebral cortex than worrying about the weather, but it did lead me to ask the special education team for clarification. Nikki, do you remember that one? I can’t remember the young man, but I do remember us discussing this IEP at length. IMPENDING DOOM.
So we laughed on our Zoom call (yes, that’s still a thing for those of us working remotely) and I told her that I now understood the meaning of life. I didn’t reveal that I was channeling my inner George Carlin but I told her that somewhere between FREQUENT PRAISE and IMPENDING DOOM, the truth lies…..hopefully a little closer to frequent praise.
Stay safe, stay awesome and stay tuned.
Patrick moeschen 