THE SYSTEM

All over the place it feels like the system is breaking down. I’m not referring to the noise and noise and more noise of the national politics, or the turning of the Earth; I’m talking local. It’s like the Seinfeld episode where they are waiting in the Chinese restaurant for a table that never seems to come. At one point, George gets a phone call at the host stand from a woman who is supposed to meet him. The host yells “Cartwright? Cartwright?” and then hangs up. George inquires and says: “Did she say Costanza?” The host replies “Yes, Costanza. I yelled Cartwright, and no one answered me here so I hung up.” George is left baffled as the TV audience laughs. Just joke writing for a sitcom on television right? That is not so far off. Here are a few local things that have happened to me over the past month that are making me question my sanity. Is stuff like this happening to you also? What’s going on out there?

THE TSA: I signed up online to do the TSA pre-check to save time at the airport in the future when I fly. I did the form and set up an appointment for a few days later for the in-person meeting. That day came and I received an email AND text “reminding me” of the in-person meet so the TSA can determine that I am likely not a bomb maker (funny, not at all funny). I drive to said appointment (inside a Staples(!)) and the guy tells me the entire TSA pre-screen system is down throughout the whole country. He shows me his iPhone, which is playing hold music. In short…no appointment, no email or text telling me not to go. The guy simply says…sorry pal. I can’t get through and you have to go home.

I’ve been trying to get a human on the phone for 2 weeks on and off at TSA. (no luck, but my call is important to them). I have made another appointment for a different location this coming week. I’ll keep you posted….but….huh?

THE Pharmacy: 2 months ago I received word that my cholesterol med is no longer being covered by my insurance. Upon speaking with my primary care office (haven’t met the doc yet, although I have had him as my new PCP since March), I was told that another med is covered, and is just as safe, blah blah blah. Prescription sent to local pharmacy. Weeks go by, I forget and hear nothing. I check in and turns out that “it’s been ordered, but we have no idea when it will come in….I guess a lot of people are on this med.” huh? Can’t get a human at my PCP office, everything goes through THE PORTAL! The med might be here today, or maybe next week. It is up to me to shop pharmacies, but each one requires a new prescription which in turn flags the online request system that I might be a drug addict trying to fill multiple scripts to get high on a cholesterol med that is actually a needle pen that my wife has to give me in my stomach. huh? Can’t do mail order since it needs to be refrigerated. huh? Breaking news….I kid you not, as I write this, I just got a text saying the med is at Rite Aid. As soon as I post this, I will go and pick it up I hope. Gonna get a lottery ticket as well.

THE OTHER DOC: My lung doc is a good guy. I like him a lot. I recently had annual lung capacity tests to see how I am doing with the lungs and muscular dystrophy. The test results are uploaded to the portal, and he and I went over them in person. Things look good. Awesome. But now my cardiologist wants access (he’s on a different portal) and so I am supposed to call and add him for access. I called yesterday (Wednesday) at 1:05 pm to hear the following voicemail message: “Our office is currently closed. Our business hours are Monday through Friday from 8:30AM to 4:30PM. Please call back during those times.” Click. Again…it was Wednesday at 1:05PM. huh? huh?

ANTHEM INSURANCE: Recently denied a claim for lithium batteries used in my bathroom ceiling lift. I use the lift to get on and off the toilet, and into the shower. No batteries…no lift. Thankfully (shout out to Kim), my durable medical provider is awesome and put new batteries in AND THEN billed insurance…. The claim was denied because “It is not known whether this item is being ordered mostly for convenience.” HUH? Do these people really think I would have a $10,000 ceiling track and lift in my bathroom for convenience? Not only will I appeal, I am going to make a nice video and refute their rejection letter point by point in case “there is doubt that the item is durable medical equipment and is not frequently used.” Yup. They said that too. Last I checked I poop and shower everyday. Don’t you? Maybe people who work for the insurance company that do the claims are a bit bound up….but still. HUH???

I didn’t even win the Powerball. What in the world is going on out there? How has it come to this? Everything is automated and nothing works. The system is breaking down. I’m going to the pharmacy where I made an appointment for my flu shot last week and STILL had to wait 30 minutes to get it. I’m so confused. Is it me? I could go on, but I’m sure you get it. Meanwhile, when I am out at all ever there are a million people driving around. Is anyone working? What is everybody living on? HUH? Where am I? WHAT. THE. HECK????

Stay safe, stay sane, and stay tuned. Huh?