THE LETTER-CONCLUSION

So Patrick-

Looking ahead once again while we sit here on your college graduation day in June of 1995, we have talked about a great many things in store for you. In the future…just as the past and present: you will laugh, cry, love, lose and win. You will take advantage of so many opportunities that life is going to offer you. You will push until your very last breath, and even then, you will tell a joke to take the tension off the room (where did Moeschen go? He was here just a minute ago calling out names of people NOT allowed to speak at his funeral).

Let’s not go dark…in the spirit of this letter, you will have your greatest moments watching your sons be born. This is going to happen in 2014 and 2016. Watching life begin, as you hear them cry for the first time, is going to bring you to tears. Everything that you think you know and have learned will change in those moments. Vanessa is the true champion and about 5 minutes after Tim (your oldest…named after your dad) has arrived, she turns to the nursing staff in the hospital and says: “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m ready to go again.” It is another confirmation that you have chosen the correct partner to take the life journey with. After son #2 arrives 2 and a half years later, (Ted…named after a grandparent on Vanessa’s side) you will be certain that Vanessa may kill you in your sleep. (! kidding !). These two boys will become the biggest, best, and most rewarding part of your entire existence. You will never know love like this until they are on the Earth. While you watch them grow, you will realize that teaching kids how to go out in the world someday, while at the same time protecting them from it, is a difficult task, but your own parents have taught you never to give up, and you and Vanessa instill the same beliefs in both of them. It will not be easy, as both of them become headstrong, learn how to debate, and not give up even when you and Vanessa are trying to shut down requests for toys, ice cream, candy, games, money, a car, parties, tourist trips to the moon (that becomes a thing in the 2030’s) and a host of other stuff. You learn that they will make good choices and bad choices, but they will grow up grounded in being able to think for themselves, while looking for truth to intelligently back up their opinions. Being a disabled parent, your kids will also see the best qualities in your friends, and, at times, total strangers. They will grow to realize that the family is important, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but a show of strength in growth and learning. The kids will see disability as “just part of the adventure” and you will realize that this is the way that society should view it. It’s not a weakness….it just is. Your kids will ground you, humble you, challenge you and protect you. They will make you and Vanessa laugh, get grumpy, get involved with things that you have no interest in (golf?) and marvel at taking in life through someone else’s eyes. You will love every minute, every hug, joke, snuggle, sniffle, success, failure, and surprise words that come out of them. You will wish for time to slow down, but reading this letter, it’s all in front of you. This and so much more that words cannot even describe. You will bond with thousands….yes that’s right….thousands of people. The good stuff will more than outweigh the bad. Using your skills in dealing and managing your muscular dystrophy will help you put your time in the world into perspective. Love wins over everything. When each of your children are only hours old, the first piece of music that they both hear will be All You Need is Love by The Beatles. In the future, you will be able to play music from your phone, just like a transistor radio. While Tim, and then Ted, lay napping on Vanessa’s chest, you will play the song and gently sing to them….

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy

Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

You loved college. You will love the future. Go get it. Live fully, learn as much as possible. Work and play hard. Damn the torpedos. All we all need is love.

Sincerely,

The future YOU

P.S: Stay awesome, stay safe, and stay tuned.