Noise

It’s everywhere right? Stop and listen right now. If you are in the house, you can hear the appliances. If you’re in public, you can hear snippets of conversation, human noises such as coughing, or perhaps traffic. Even if you are reading this while in a quiet, comfortable spot, you can hear your own breathing. Somehow our brain is able to filter out most of the noise to allow you to focus on whatever task you are doing right now, which is reading these words as your eyes move across the screen.

Another level of noise is ALL that we are now bombarded by each day, whether it is from an opinion in a newspaper or article, a talking head on TV, the internet or social media. Besides noisy news headlines (everyone has classified documents!) there are tons of people each day that know what’s best for you, which car you need to drive, how and when to eat and exercise, quick ways to make more money, quick ways to be happy with said money, slow ways to be happy with no money, the best job, why you should take a vacation, which religion is more better than all the other ones, TED talks that will change your life, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, texts, news blogs, who will win the Super Bowl (Bengals), who will pitch for Boston on opening day, will Tom Brady retire, when are we going to the moon, why some people are more prone to cancer, how to care for your pet while you are happy making quick money to be happy. Is your head spinning yet? So we have physical noise, and outside bombarding noise that our brain must now sort, deflect and receive in some sort of meaningful way so that we can all function in society as well as in day to day life. When I was growing up, we had to go looking for information when studying concepts in school. We were taught about reliable sources and we went about seeking knowledge by interacting with these sources. Today, almost everything comes at you: Online ads are targeted to things that you have searched. Stores like Target and Walmart know your life situation and send mailers for baby products to women (and some men) if they have searched for diapers or have registered for a baby shower. They know you’re pregnant, so why not solicit you? I read that Target had a pilot program to simply SEND and CHARGE you for infant products and allow you to return them, get a refund, and a credit if you didn’t want the stuff. People hated it and lawyers had to argue that this was corporate overreach. Indeed it is, but how many of us “Subscribe and Save” on Amazon, receive something once a month or more and keep it because “it won’t go bad anyway?” Guilty. Noise. Noise. Noise.

I’m trying not to be old and grumpy while sounding like things were better “back in the day.” In fact, it’s amazing that I can see what song was #1 in the U.S. the day I was born just by a few taps on my phone (I Can See Clearly, Johnny Nash), but all of this bombardment has led me to another level of noise that I believe makes life increasing harder to navigate: It’s very noisy all the time inside my head.

At times, I’m sure all of us realize that it’s really hard to “quiet the mind.” There are tons of books, studies, and advice about how to do this. (More bombardment…let me help quiet your mind by telling you how best to quiet your mind.) I have noticed that my mind is noisy as soon as I wake up, and it stay like that until I fall asleep. If I wake up during the night, my head cranks up again and all kinds of things go running through there. To prepare for this blog, I took about 60 seconds today and wrote down exactly what was flying through my transom. Ready?

It looks cold outside, some snow has melted but I need to make sure my kids have their snow gear for school. It’s over by the pellet stove. Do we need pellets in the stove? We got a delivery last week. I paid it, but I need to file the receipt. Receipts….where is the tax folder? Desk, left drawer, need to put 2022 tax stuff in that is starting to come in the mail. Kids need to do a few more thank you notes from Christmas. What time is my first meeting today? Did I take notes from last night’s meeting well enough to understand them this morning? I need to return some emails. Does Vanessa get paid this week or next? I’m on the 1st, that’s next Wednesday, same as the mortgage. Need to check the accounts. What did the kids do with my phone charger? Why can’t I think slower and not act so quickly on most decisions? Why am I always rushing around and then when I’m actually not, I feel guilty that I’m not doing something productive? Where did I leave the Soprano’s book that I started? I need to remind Vanessa to renew her license. Am I picking up the kids from school today? I need to text my buddies that joke about the thing from the thing.

That. Is. How. It. Is. All. Day. Long. Is it just me? If I was my brain, I would be exhausted, grumpy, and confused every moment I’m awake. Somehow, my mind takes these tangents and comes back to the task at hand. It’s even funnier to watch my kids interact with their own noisy heads because they don’t have a stream of conscience filter yet. They ask me about what’s for dinner in the same thread as are the Bruins playing tonight? I know that they are working through the routine for the rest of their waking hours, while wondering what everyone else in the house might be doing, all the while, on a deeper level, knowing that they are warm, safe, and fed. Basic needs followed by a hyper aware noisy brain yelling at you all day long. Rationalizing each thought with how it lines up with the changing world, societies views, what is “normal” and packaging all that feelings and words all day long. Throw in school, a job, while driving, eating, checking your phone, reading this, and you’ve got a huge circus going on in your brain. It’s no wonder we are all stressed, tired, and don’t want to always be social. We are talking with someone all day; our noisy heads.

Excuse me while I meditate and try to count to 10 while NOT thinking about anything else. I’ve been doing this a couple of times a day for months. I have yet to make it past 6.

Stay safe, stay awesome, and stay tuned….shhh. your brain is asking if you need groceries.